Belle is THREE!

Three!

Three years of sass, love, life and being my one-and-only Princess Belle.
Three years of finding yourself, beliving in yourself 'I CAN DO IT!', three years of fun, laughter and your adorable quirkiness.

I officially don't have any baby left. You're such a big girl now, in a tiny little body. You've grown so quick and have such an adorable little personality. Independence, confidence, funny, playful are just a few words that sum you up this year. You're still such a little bean but you have grown soo much this past year. It's been a big year of growth, learning and fun for you.

This year you've started dancing and it's been the highlight of your life! You're such a mini me and any opportunity you have to stretch to do the splits or pointe your toes, you take it! You were born to achieve greatness and I can't wait to watch it all.

You LOOOOVE;

Sparkles

Cooking

Play-Doh

Sand

Lego

Your Scentsy Go

Water Play
Getting your nails done

Princesses

Dress ups

Pretty clothes

Your big brother

Buddies

Your blanket

Drawing

Dancing

My Little Pony

Snuggles

Make up

Dolls

Kisses

Fruit

Swimming

Barbies

Your Dolls House

Blocks

Playing imaginary

Babychinos

Marshmellows

Your friends

Playgroup

My favourite memories with you;

*Watching you dance

* Watching you play with your friends
*Nail dates

*Watching your personality grow

* Our coffee dates

* Playing barbies together

*Your cuddles

* Going to the beach

*Your funny laugh

You're amazing at;

*Dancing

*Making people happy

*Drawing

*Your imagination

*Being cheeky

*Snuggling

You're learning to;

*Use the toilet

*Ride a bike

*Count to 20

*Animal Sounds

*Share

* Shapes

* Play with lego

*Dance

Happy three years of beautiful life sweetheart ❤

It is okay to not like your children...

It's okay to not like your children.

Yeah. I said it. We all know I'm not mother of the year anyway, but put down the phone to child services and hear me out...

I love my kids. They're bloody great kids.  They're funny, they're fun, they're clever. They're encouraging, they're smart, they complete my life. I could go on, but you get the point. I think my kids are the best kids in the world, like all us mums do.

But

They're stubborn, they can be so damn rude. And the screaming. Almighty God, the FUCKING screaming.  The fighting.  The punching. The competing. And more screaming. And refusing to eat what I've cooked. And the mess!! And how many times do my children need to argue with me about going to the damn fucking toilet before getting the point?

 My daughter has non stopped screaming since she turned 2.5. It's okay girlfriend, I haven't stopped since my labour in 2012. She's making it really hard for me right now. But, I love her. Gosh, I love her. Her smile. Her laugh. Her playfulness. Her conversations. Her cuddles.

When my son turns back into the tired monster child he is when schools on, I wont like him. No-one likes a whinging 5 year old.  No-one. Not even their mothers, trust me. But I still love him with my entire heart! I love that he's learning, and growing, and trying to keep up with all the demands of being a young school boy, and snuggly, and caring.

Sometimes, I just don't like them! Sometimes I created monsters. And when they're carrying on like two headed ones, I just don't like them! And you know what? IT'S OKAY!!!

It took a long time to realise that it's damn okay to think that just sometimes my kids are tiny little arseholes that I don't want to be around.

In saying that, I hate not being being around them. I miss them like crazy.

As cliche as it is,  I would never,  ever, want to be anything else. I couldn't wish to go back in time,  or wish I was something else, I couldn't imagine not being a Mum.  It's my entire life and beyond. It's okay though, to not enjoy every minute of your screaming snotty stubborn argumentative and whiney jerks that you so dearly love.

Those with babies reading this are probably freaking out about now, about what sort of Mum I am. I'm a good Mum. Most of the time. And I was like you once. All full of unicorns and rainbows, and paintings... Do me favour and come back here when your perfect little angel turns 2. Than 3. Than 4.. And when every single age gets harder and harder. You'll be here my love, you'll be here!

For now, peace out ✌.

Harley xx

The abuse doesn't end when the abusive relationship ends.

The abuse doesn't end there.

The abuse didn't end when I left.

The control didn't finish when feelings left.

The mind games weren't finished when I was.

They got worse.

It all got so much worse.

More than I ever imagined.

I had to turn into the most strongest and self empowered woman I could ever imagine. I had to learn to live a life through the mist of hate. I had to learn to look through the fog of my glassy eyes and know that whatever happens, whatever is tried and tested, I have control on how it is recived.

That no matter what, the abuser no longer held the power to hurt. My anthem and survival guide became"'I do not accept what you are saying, this is your issue and I am passing it back to you"

He couldn't physically control me anymore. Or physically hurt me. So he tried and still does try in every way he can. 

To live a life where still, almost every single day you're bullied. Manipulated. 

I didn't choose this part. I chose to leave it behind. Why does it continue to follow me? I do not accept it. Repeat it. I do not accept it.

I thought leaving would end this all. But two years later, I still have to battle with my inner strength to rebuke his games. 

I DO NOT ACCEPT IT!

I say I 'was' in an abusive relationship, but most of the time, I feel like I still am.

And often, it's worse.

The abuse doesn't end when the abusive relationship ends.

Except now, it's just games with my head instead of my body. My bruises healed. Slowly the photos were deleted. Slowly people forgot. But the words that are spun like a spiders web now, the words of hatred...still continue in. Like as if those words have the power to reach out a hand and squeeze my heart. 

Imagine your number one aspiration in life is to make someone feel miserable. To be hurtful. To be rude. That you feel like your destiny is to kill of someones soul.

"I wish with all my might that you would stop haunting me."

But then I realise, you are just miserable.

How horrible would it be to not live a life of grace, love, acceptance and gratitude. How sad to try and search and look for faults instead of seeing the beauty in everything. 

What a waste of life!

So maybe I hate having to deal with all of this continually. But I am thankful that I am not you.

So play your games as you will, but remember I'm still the puppeteer of my own self, and you will never, ever, have the ability to control me again.

Wonderlust.

Wonderlust.

Possibly my favourite word.

Why?

It completely describes everything I am, plus want to be.

Totally board of anything ordinary.

In perspective, I've lived in my new home for less than three months and have changed my lounge room around three times. I think I'm satisfied now, until I have the urge for change.
I'm never in one moment for too long.
Some people hate change, but me? I thrive on it! I need it! It sets my soul on fire.

So, after 6 years of the same blog name, same blog URL, and a huge change in my life and time and where me as a whole is heading, it was time to change!

So, wonderlusting my blog!

Welcome!

Harley Ever After.

www.harleyeverafter.blogspot.com

My blog about all things in my very own, and very real fairy tale. My imperfect fairy tale + all that was here before.

I'm sassy, I'm solo, I'm sarcastic and completely sentimental.

Looking forward to where this takes my soul.

Harley 

xx