I'm sorry you are sick.
I'm sorry that you can't enjoy your pregnancy completely.
I'm sorry that you feel miserable because you can't keep your breakfast down and brushing your teeth makes you cringe.
I know you think you know how I feel because you can't imagine feeling any worse.
But when you say 'I know how you feel' I feel hurt.
I'm not dismissing your morning sickness, I know it sucks, but when you insist you feel or have felt like I do, it feels like you're dismissing mine.
I see your food posts, I'm glad you can eat.
I see your latest adventure, I'm glad you can leave your bed or bathroom.
I see you waiting for your antenatal appointment, I'm glad you don't have to stay over night.
You look fabulous with that bump, I see your eyes aren't sunken.
Your hair looks amazing, I'm happy you haven't lost chunks.
That sucks you had to get up through the night to go to the toilet, I'm glad it wasn't to be sick all night.
I'm happy for you, I really am! But I can't help but envy you. And when you tell me you know how I feel, I can't help but envy you even more. I wish you did. I don't wish Hyperemesis on you, but I wish we felt the same. We could swap natural remedies and 'crackers before you get up' theories. I wish you weren't sick at all, but I wish I had Morning Sickness like you so I could eat, and do things, and not have to spend my pregnancy in the bathroom or hospital.
It's my dark demon I'm dealing with. I know, it's my issue. But please stop telling me you know how I feel. Let me tell you a little bit about how I do feel.
I see your food posts, and I instantly throw up.
I see your latest adventure, and each time I roll over in bed I throw up.
I see you waiting for your antenatal appointment, while I'm getting IV fluids.
I really do love your bump, I wish I would start showing.
Your hair is looking so full and wonderful, my body is so dry I'm losing my hair.
I was up through the night too cause my body won't stop being sick.
You can talk to me about your sickness, you can complain, I won't give you ginger and life saver advice, I will tell you to get drugs. I won't tell you it will get better after 12 weeks, it not always does. And I won't tell you it's a sign the baby is healthy so be thankful, because for me all that sickness made my baby not grow. Because I DO know how YOU feel. I will make sure you're okay, and help you anyway I can... I really am sorry you're sick......
but please do not say you know how I feel.
From a Mumma with Hyperemeesis Gravidarum.
2 comments:
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This is amazing. As a mama currently 19 weeks into my HG pregnancy and every other day is a struggle, every hiccup is a worry if I'm going to ruin my purse or my car... The fact that I felt I had to re-learn how to drive because of not even driving anywhere for two weeks, being iv'd with blown veins multiple times and a fear of needles... Mixed with vision problems I've never touched to wearing sunglasses indoors for hours at a time... waking my 50 hour a week working husband up at 12, 2, 4, and 6 to change puke bags from the sound of music next to him in bed... His pitiful sorry face for running out of mini trash bags and every grocery bag in the house... I don't even want to comment on the "suggestions" "Ginger, keep a food journal, eat more frequently, you should just try to drink water, Gatorade, soup, chicken broth, baby bites of crackers, etc" and my favorite from my mother in laws best friend... "I got on Google and I found out this should end at 20 weeks for her so you're almost in the clear."
If the world only knew. Thank you for this article. It speaks volumes.
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